First day of junior year.

it was pretty good. i like most of my classes, some of them i don't know anyone, so thats not very cool, but in some of them there are cute boys, and I must say i do like that! haha

I had to change my classes, because they really messed up my schedule, and the classes I am most excited for would be my AP Lit Class, APush, and photo, and being an Aide for Cronin, it will be a good year, Im not even going to even say hopefully anymore. I have decided either way, I am going to make it a good year!

I CAN NOT WAIT!(:

so far this summer has been:

insanely boring. nothing real exciting has happened at all. the only place i went was LA, to see so you think you can dance, I will admit that, that was amazing, but that was the only exciting thing! so anyways, I really want to go to the fair, and sea world, and LA again, and i want to go to the beach really really bad, and hmm, what else? I don’t even know, I just want to be doing things that a 16 year old girl should be doing over summer, and I know that sitting around the house is not what should be happening! :/

AHHHH. i need my license. 

oh my goodness,

first off. im happy i can talk to you. it’s good. but if you only knew, boy oh boy if you only knew, except sometimes i wonder if it would even matter if you knew!?

would it make a difference with anything, there is a 50/50 chance you would care and the same chance you wouldn’t. sometimes i just don’t know what to do. 

but i find it funny, my best posts on here all seem to be about you.

<3

Michael Jackson...

I will miss you, 

and so will the whole world. 

You were an amazing performer and have inspired so many people, 

including me. 

Your music will live on forever and you will be remembered as long as music is made. 

Rest in Peace, Goodbye for now.

there was a fly..

In my Chicken Caesar Salad at California Pizza Kitchen!! Is that not like the grossest thing you have ever heard ever!! Eww. i am so happy i look at my food before i eat it or else that fly would have been in my body!! :/ YUCK.

It's starting to be a crazy summer already.

Well, I am going to try my best to make this long story short, so here it goes.

Yesterday, my friends Aunt was hosting a jewelry party and so my friend invited me and about 7-8 of our other friends. We were all hanging out and having a lot of fun, it was about 9:30 and people were starting to leave. We decided to have a sleepover and it was 6 girls in total. We had to stay really quiet until Alexis' parents fell asleep. So we were quiet and whispering, but I mean, truthfully, it is really hard to stay totally quiet when there are 6 16 year old girls who just want to have some fun on their summer vacation. I mean you understand my logic right? Anyways, some of the girls were being a tad bit hyper and made a little bit of noise. It turns out her Mom comes downstairs and tells us that she is going to take us all home, and at this point it was 1:00am. We all got our things ready and we began to head out. It was horrible, I felt so bad for Alexis, we were all really looking forward to having a fun sleepover and it pretty much got really messed up. Well, my friend Vivi lives like about 15-20 mins away from Alexis' house and then my other friend Marissa did not want to show up back at her house at 1:00 in the morning after begging her mom to let her sleepover, so I told them they could come to my house. 

I didn't actually call my parents to ask if it was okay because I figured that they were sleeping! It turns out we get dropped off at my house and we had to go in through the garage and everyone was awake, and by the way totally freaked out that someone was opening the garage door at 1:00 in the morning. It was great. 

But yeah, so we ended up pulling an all nighter and having a ton of fun, so maybe it just didn't work out for a reason!? But we plan on trying to make it happen again. 

So this is the first adventure of hopefully many this summer, I can't wait!!(:

<3

Summer '09

living in the moment, spending it with the ones you love.

doing things you never have, letting loose, letting go.

meeting new people, taking pictures, the beach, the pool, my house or yours.

love, friendship, and hopefully no drama.

this is what summer is all about, get it together and enjoy it.

i hope all your summer wishes come true<3

Goodbye Sophomore Year

Well, today was the last day of Sophomore Year, which just seems so darn hard to believe! It’s funny though, because on one hand, I feel like it went by slow, such as; I can’t totally remember the first couple of months of the school year, like I don’t feel like they just happened yesterday, it actually does feel like it was a while ago. But then on the other hand, it sorta feels like I didn’t do too much this year, almost like I didn’t really accomplish anything, so it doesn’t feel like the year should be over already. If that makes any sense at all. I understand if you don’t take time to figure that one out. 

Anyways, this year was good. I kept up decent grades. Decent meaning, Im sure I could have done better, and I am going to keep up with that commitment this next year, because truthfully, what I do now is going to set me up for the rest of my life.. no joke. & I really would like for the rest of my life to be rather enjoyable if that is at all possible. So I am going to try my hardest to do whatever I can to do exceptionally well in all my classes next year, and not just decent! 

But anyways, I still can’t believe this year is over. It just doesn’t feel right for some reason. Eww, I was single this whole year? ouch. that kinda sucks… haha. Oh well, hmm. Well my friends and I definitely went through our own ups and downs this year, but we came out of all of it stronger, and now I am for sure looking forward to summer. And don’t get me wrong saying how my friends and I have come out of everything stronger, because I mean we have, but we continue to have ups and downs just like anyone… that will never change. And truthfully, I still sorta want new people! I wish I could move and just bring a select few people with me that I can’t live without, and then get all new people in place of the others. Wouldn’t that just be so amazing!? I think so.

So, next year I will be a Junior, which is almost a Senior, which I hate thinking about, because that just means so old!! I don’t even have full comprehension of that I don’t think. It all just sort of scares me to some degree. But I guess when the time comes there is nothing you can do about it, you can’t pause life the way you pause TV, that is not a luxury we get. So you have to fast forward through your whole life, no pauses, no rewinds, you just keep going until your movie is over.. 

WOW. well I am going to go watch a movie or something!? That whole paragraph just got too deep for me, and my eye is starting to twitch from being on the computer for too long!!!!! ughh. :/

hot shower & loud music = free therapy

i didn't know it was possible to feel this powerless, 

its like i don't know what to do?

i don't know what to feel 

and i don't even know if it is all real, 

I'm scared, 

sad, 

but most of all lost, 

if this is just a taste of the real world, 

i would rather not go.

turning 16 manana!

today is the very very last day that i will ever be 15, ever. 

wow, i cant believe it.. 

it is over 

and tomorrow i will be 16. 

that is so crazy? 

what the heck, i have never felt so weird when i am having a birthday..

its kinda weird, haha?

ughh.

well i will let you know how i feel about being 16 tomorrow, 

if it even feels different? haha

this weekend

this weekend, 

has been amazing, 

i cant think of any other way i would have wanted to spend my last few days being 15!

well it all started friday when my best friend in the whole wide world called me and asked me to hang out, 

i know.. it sounds like nothing really, 

but it was a big deal mainly because she is learning center at my school, 

which just means she goes for shorter classes and finishes earlier than everyone else

and because she is on major lockdown with her parents because she wasnt allowed to have a boyfriend but she did 

so now she is punished... 

anyways

I got to see her last night 

and it was just like this huge reunion type thing.. 

and it was great, 

a lot of things have happened between me and my friend in the past few months, 

and things will never be the same between us

but i just got a taste of what the old days used to be like

i loved it<3

i ended up staying so late at her house that i just slept over. 

which was fun!!

i loved it, every minute of it!<3333

well, 

after i left heidi's house (my best friend in the whole wide world)

i got a text from my other friend taylor

she reported to me that honor society was  going to be at a mall close by today

now honor society is an awesome band.. 

if you haven't heard of them i suggest you look them up!!

they have toured with the Jonas Brothers

and in their own way are just a great band.. 

but anyways of course i asked my dad if i could please go!

and he said yes, 

so taylor and i went to see honor society at the Fashion Valley Mall in San Diego

it was great! we had so much fun, 

we got autographs, and pictures, and concert tickets, and we just got to flat out talk to them!

it was the best ,

I even gave them an invitation to my sweet 16 and they said they would see what they could do about attending!(:

so in all, 

this weekend has been great and its only saturday night right now. 

the only bad news i do have is.. 

my best friend in the whole wide world has to move to Syria for a year because of her moms job. 

I cried last night when she told me. 

I dont know how I am going to survive a whole year without her, 

she is one of the few people in my life who understands me, 

she knows so much about me 

and whenever I have a problem she is there. 

I love her so much, 

but I am set on the belief 

that best friends are best friends, no matter how many miles apart, we will always be best friends<3333

well thats it for now, I need to start on homework. :/

Back to School

yesterday was the first day back!

&it was alright

it actually kinda felt good to be back at school, 

idk we will see how this last half of the semester goes, 

i cant believe i am going to be a junior next year :0

WOW. 

time goes by waayy too hella fast. 

which is bringing me to a whole other topic, 

but that topic needs to be brought up in it's own entry! haha

anyways, 

today which is the 2nd day back at school, 

i actually started passing out invitations to my sweet 16 birthday party, 

which is like insanely nerve wrecking, and totally weird. haha

truthfully.. 

i dont like it!!

i feel awkward and i don't know what to say, 

it's just all around weird haha

well anyways

i am passing out more tomorrow, 

because i didn't finish today, 

so that should be fun?

i guess? haha

ahhhhhh!!!!! :/

post up later. 

byee(:

GNO

(girls night out)

except tonight we are having a GNI (girls night in)

sleepover, and fun things like that! i cant wait.. 

i haven't seen my girls all 4 weeks of spring break, besides alexis at dance.. 

but that doesn't really count. 

so i am excited, 

we have catching up to do.. 

and a lot of fun memories to make tonight!! <3

it will be good to relax, a nice change from all this homework and boredem. 

well i cant wait, 

pictures will be posted in my next blog, yay (:

<3

i just want there to be someone there. 

someone who cares

someone who knows

i just want there to be that one person

who can make me feel like none other

just one 

to be there

to care

to know

one.

the Dark

sometimes I am so afraid

to be alone in the dark

the things i might see 

the things that might be there

that i can not see

the feelings i get

there is a pit in my stomach

it wont go away no matter how much i want it to

hiding away in the dark places of my mind 

are the thoughts that come out in the night

scary things, happy things

things i fear of happening

things i wish with all my heart would come true

i lay my head down

now to sleep 

into the dark i stare

as i close my eyes

my thoughts clutter my mind 

too many things rushing threw

i cant always see the light 

and am afraid of what i might find if i let my mind wander

so i will get up 

and turn on the lights

so i don't have to face

what is hiding in the night

adventures in LA

was pretty cool. 

quality time with my dad and my brother.. 

now i really cant wait to get back to school! haha

but uhm, I went to Santa Monica, Toluca Lake, Studio City, Hollywood and uhh.. 

we stayed in Long Beach, it was pretty cool. 

I went to the fashion district for the first time.. that was awesome. 

but my brother hated it so we didnt stay for very long. 

he was like afraid or something?! haha

he thought we were going to get jumped, or shot or something

but it was really awesome.. 

so now everytime I go up to LA i am going to want to go by there. 

it was weird eating out everyday!?

haha

I am happy to be home and just eat cereal for breakfast. haha(:

it was a good thing though, 

i was getting kinda bored of my life so it was nice to shake it up a bit

now i am ready to get down to business and do what i need to do!

i guess its all good. 

Review of my KCA's Saturday..

okay.. first part of the day was pretty awesome, heres how it started:

we got to the KCA's and everything was good.. 

my friend taylor and I met our other friend talar at UCLA (where the KCA's are)

and then we went on out hunt for tickets. 

at first we were all pretty shy and didnt want to go around and ask anyone for tickets.. 

but right away my mom started asking everyone for tickets

it seemed this year it was going to be harder to get tickets than it was last year.

eventually we made signs that said things like "tickets needed"

we got our first 2 tickets from these really sweet older ladies who just had extra ticket 

then we went on to find 2 more tickets and we were set

we got into the KCA's and it was pretty cool!

while we were in there we met Raja and Jordan from Unfabulous, Savannah, and Jennifer and Daniel from Wizards of Waverly Place. 

it was definitely a successful awards show..

after the awards we decided to hit up HOB and check out the Honor Society concert

we had heard rumors JB was going so we were pretty excited and hopeful we would see them

we ended up waiting outside for 2 or 3 hours. 

hungry in the cold

while we were waiting at HOB we saw: John Taylor, Derek Huff, and Joey Page.

when the Jonas Brothers finally came out; 

Nick waved and said Hi

Joe looked over, but barley acknowledged we were there

Kevin walked straight into the car and looked super pissed. 

after the Jonas Brothers left .. 

we decided we were too hungry to wait around for Demi, Honor Society and other people that were still there

so we left and went to find something to eat

we had discussed staying the night with Taylors friend from New Jersey, Laura, at their hotel if my mom became too tired to drive all the way back home to SD

and we figured thats what we would do!

so we went and ate.. we ate at like 11:30

after that we went and walked to our cars.. 

only to find they werent there. 

they had been towed away!!

by the time we got to the towing place it was 12:30

(my dad buys cars and fixes them up and sells them for a living

my mom has always wanted this one old jag and finally he got her one.. 

we only got it about last week or less

meaning my mom didnt have anything in her name!! :/)

this all means that when we got to the towing place they wouldnt let us get our car!

my mom started crying because the guy was accusing us of stealing the car and all this other stuff. 

then the jerk who worked there was making fun of all of us!

so my mom ended up calling my dad to fax over the information to the car

but by that time it was 1:00 and we dont have a fax machine at our house

my dad had to go around and look for one

by the time he got to a fax machine it was 2:30 almost

and by this time taylor and I were rather homesick

we both had horrible nerves making our stomachs sick. 

so i asked my mom if she would be alright to drive home

we got a third of the way there when my mom decided she was too tired to drive any longer 

so we pulled over at an "always open" denny's and slept for about 30 minutes

then we got back onto the road

by the time we got home it was 5:00 in the morning 

i woke up today at 1:00 

and i feel like i wasted a whole day of my life being tired and sleeping!

i think someday i will look back this and laugh, hopefully. 

but i do believe the cause of all this misfortune was the Jonas Brothers.. 

i hope they know i will be sending them the towing bill. 

they should be expecting it

KCA's first post.

on my way to the Kids Choice Awards!

woohoo. 

going to be a ton of funn!

hopefully we will meet the Jonas Brothers!

finally.. haha

I really am determined this year to get a picture with them this year!!

well anyways I am really excited!

so I will be back on later to tell you how its going!

hopefully I will be able to post a picture later of me and them!! <33

Thoughts on being Single

"eww" Why is it so complicated?

I mean.. for a good amount of time being single is a lot of fun. You can talk to whoever and do whatever. But at some point it gets kind of boring, and you start to want to be in a relationship.. right? or is that only me? haha

Well anyways. I am at that stage where Im kinda bored of being single now. I want to be in a relationship again! I just don't know who I would be in a relationship with? haha

Like when you are single there are a number of people you are attracted to, right? But then what, you just have to talk to like all these different people and then see who you could potentially like, and then start random conversations out of nowhere!? That can be hard. 

Eww. being single is a major pain in the butt as far as I see it. 

btw. do I write in here too much? haha

It seems like it?

^^(i love how i say that like there is really anyone out there who reads this thing!?)^^

Intercession Blues

it sucks that just because I am not going to intercession like all my friends, 

i seem to be getting left out of everything!

&i know that whole story where since I am doing good in school and all that stuff

later on it will all pay off. 

I get it. 

but it sucks!

i hate that I didn't get invited to certain hangouts because I didn't hear about it at intercession?

&that my friends cant tell me to my face that they don't want to hang out with me on saturday, 

and even if thats not the point and their parents really don't want them to.. 

then why in the whole wide world would their parents rather let them go to some freakin' party at someone's house that they don't even know!!? where everyone is gona be drinking and doing other stupid stuff. 

I mean really!??!!!?!?!?!

ughh. watever. i figure, i am going to have an awesome future

so i should just let everyone else do all the stupid shit that they want, 

because eventually, 

Im gona  be on top! 

^(haha sure)^

I don't wana grow up.

Sometimes. 

it feels like everything is going so fast. 

life is flying by,

you cant stop it.

there is nothing to do about it.

every year you get older, wiser or not

there is nothing you can do, 

but learn to be content with it

So there is this Guy..

And he is amazing

He speaks of not finding anyone

No one out there wants him

He is lonely 

And adorable

He wants someone to feel the way I do about him

But will he realize it ever?

Im not one to put myself out there

I don't share my thoughts and emotions with everyone

I just want him to know I am here

But its one of those things that 

You want what you cant have, and he wants everyone he cant seem to get

But me, Im the girl who feels the same way towards him

I cant say I know him very well

I cant say we are a perfect match or anything

But the things he writes 

I can relate to so well, and he is cute and I think he is cool

The thing is, I don't know if he would give me a chance. 

I feel an attraction to him. 

But maybe he just doesn't see it there. 

Why do you want what you cant have, 

But when there is something you can have.. you don't want it?

Hi My Name is Ariana

I am a female.

I am shy at first, but as you get to know me I come out of my shell. 

I love beautiful things,  i find beauty in everything. 

I try to not regret.. ANYTHING.

Boys.. complicated subject! I have had my heart slightly broken before.

I love music.. its a huge part of my life. 

I love dancing, it is basically my passion. The way I see it is that I know I am not the best, but for now I am the best I can be.. and if I want to get better I must continue to practice and try hard. So i will continue to dance, because when I dance whatever is going on.. goes away and when I am dancing everything is easy.. and it just comes naturally. I don't have to think so much and I can let go and everything just goes away. Its something that makes me very happy.

I love writing.. hence the blog. 

I am a sophomore in high school. 

I am completely unaware of where life is going to take me. But i know wherever it is.. it will be amazing. 

I don't know where I am going to go to college, and I don't know what I want to study. 

I love reading.. I read all the time. 

Used books stores are my favorite. 

I love movies.. and tv. 

I am a major nerd. But not necessarily the smartest. 

I get average grades. I enjoy challenging myself in school to see how far I can push myself to do my best. 

I have a mom, a dad, and a brother. I also have three dogs. I love animals.

I love my grandparents more than a lot of people in the world. 

Even though I live in this town that is full of wonderful people, it doesn't show up on a map, or on the weather news in the morning, I have experienced things most 15 year olds probably haven't.. 

My friends and I get through life.. some of them wishing they could escape from this place, but me, I am thankful for where I live.. It is a great place overall. 

Im not as innocent as I seem. 

I believe what I want, I have a strong mind and I don't fall to peer pressure. 

I know my limits and I have strong will. 

I am a christian, and probably not the one my mom wants me to be.. 

But I do the best I can. 

I am a happy person most of the time. But when Im pmsing.. you might want to watch out!

I like to shop, fashion is something that interests me very much. 

And besides my birthday being April 20th, and my nationality being Mexican, Spanish, American, Chinese.. and everything else.. 

I think this is all you need to know about me. 

For now.