hot shower & loud music = free therapy

i didn't know it was possible to feel this powerless, 

its like i don't know what to do?

i don't know what to feel 

and i don't even know if it is all real, 

I'm scared, 

sad, 

but most of all lost, 

if this is just a taste of the real world, 

i would rather not go.

turning 16 manana!

today is the very very last day that i will ever be 15, ever. 

wow, i cant believe it.. 

it is over 

and tomorrow i will be 16. 

that is so crazy? 

what the heck, i have never felt so weird when i am having a birthday..

its kinda weird, haha?

ughh.

well i will let you know how i feel about being 16 tomorrow, 

if it even feels different? haha

this weekend

this weekend, 

has been amazing, 

i cant think of any other way i would have wanted to spend my last few days being 15!

well it all started friday when my best friend in the whole wide world called me and asked me to hang out, 

i know.. it sounds like nothing really, 

but it was a big deal mainly because she is learning center at my school, 

which just means she goes for shorter classes and finishes earlier than everyone else

and because she is on major lockdown with her parents because she wasnt allowed to have a boyfriend but she did 

so now she is punished... 

anyways

I got to see her last night 

and it was just like this huge reunion type thing.. 

and it was great, 

a lot of things have happened between me and my friend in the past few months, 

and things will never be the same between us

but i just got a taste of what the old days used to be like

i loved it<3

i ended up staying so late at her house that i just slept over. 

which was fun!!

i loved it, every minute of it!<3333

well, 

after i left heidi's house (my best friend in the whole wide world)

i got a text from my other friend taylor

she reported to me that honor society was  going to be at a mall close by today

now honor society is an awesome band.. 

if you haven't heard of them i suggest you look them up!!

they have toured with the Jonas Brothers

and in their own way are just a great band.. 

but anyways of course i asked my dad if i could please go!

and he said yes, 

so taylor and i went to see honor society at the Fashion Valley Mall in San Diego

it was great! we had so much fun, 

we got autographs, and pictures, and concert tickets, and we just got to flat out talk to them!

it was the best ,

I even gave them an invitation to my sweet 16 and they said they would see what they could do about attending!(:

so in all, 

this weekend has been great and its only saturday night right now. 

the only bad news i do have is.. 

my best friend in the whole wide world has to move to Syria for a year because of her moms job. 

I cried last night when she told me. 

I dont know how I am going to survive a whole year without her, 

she is one of the few people in my life who understands me, 

she knows so much about me 

and whenever I have a problem she is there. 

I love her so much, 

but I am set on the belief 

that best friends are best friends, no matter how many miles apart, we will always be best friends<3333

well thats it for now, I need to start on homework. :/

Back to School

yesterday was the first day back!

&it was alright

it actually kinda felt good to be back at school, 

idk we will see how this last half of the semester goes, 

i cant believe i am going to be a junior next year :0

WOW. 

time goes by waayy too hella fast. 

which is bringing me to a whole other topic, 

but that topic needs to be brought up in it's own entry! haha

anyways, 

today which is the 2nd day back at school, 

i actually started passing out invitations to my sweet 16 birthday party, 

which is like insanely nerve wrecking, and totally weird. haha

truthfully.. 

i dont like it!!

i feel awkward and i don't know what to say, 

it's just all around weird haha

well anyways

i am passing out more tomorrow, 

because i didn't finish today, 

so that should be fun?

i guess? haha

ahhhhhh!!!!! :/

post up later. 

byee(:

GNO

(girls night out)

except tonight we are having a GNI (girls night in)

sleepover, and fun things like that! i cant wait.. 

i haven't seen my girls all 4 weeks of spring break, besides alexis at dance.. 

but that doesn't really count. 

so i am excited, 

we have catching up to do.. 

and a lot of fun memories to make tonight!! <3

it will be good to relax, a nice change from all this homework and boredem. 

well i cant wait, 

pictures will be posted in my next blog, yay (: